My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
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I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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