dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
