i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
