But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
