I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
