I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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