Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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