I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
