I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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