also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
