Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
