the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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