if you like me you must not know who I am
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
