I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
