How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
