So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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