Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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