The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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