I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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