yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
