I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
