You're completely useless in the revolution.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
