I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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