I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
