Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
