watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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