it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
