Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
