Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
