I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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