I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
3 2 1 whiskey
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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