all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
we're so committed to being not committed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
