Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
