sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
