Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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