I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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