my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm eating all of the evidence.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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