i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
