I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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