im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize