He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize