i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
