You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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