If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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