they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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