Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
if only i could text you this smell
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
