We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
