Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
