Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
