I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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