I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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