so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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