We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
