I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
