Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
