Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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