Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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