Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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