fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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